When Times Are Tough
by Aisling.Aberdyfi
Summary: When times get tough, Rose finds out the two people she can trust are the most unexpected...    my first ever fanfic :  x
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic so please tell me what you think :)**

**This is based after shadow kissed, but Dimitri wasn't turned...Enjoy! 3**

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><p>I woke up, with a splitting head ache, and sweating, even though I was freezing. I rubbed my head and sat up. Lissa had been up all night with Christian, and with that going on, I couldn't sleep. Sometimes, I hate this bloody bond. I had a quick shower, dried my hair and turned up to training, late again. Dimitri didn't look happy.<p>

"Hey Comrade! Ready to kick some ass today?" I said, scraping my hair into a high pony tail. Dimitri tensed and put his guardian mask on.

"It's Guardian Belikov. And we not going to 'kick some ass', you are going to run laps." Dimitri replied, turning around abruptly and stalking off, probably to get one of his western novels. I stood there with my mouth wide open. Had I done something? I went outside to the track, dumping my gym bag on the floor. The cold was biting my skin mercilessly. I saw Dimitri watching me with those deep brown eyes from the window of the gym. I turned away from him and started to run. Round and round the track, trying to figure out why Dimitri was mad. I played back last night's events in my head.

_Tasha was waiting at the cabin with Lissa and Christian. Dimitri and I burst through the door and I saw Tasha's aura light up with affection. Well, Lissa did. _

"_Dimka!" Tasha cried, jumping up from the bed they were sitting on. Being in this cabin with Dimitri made me uncomfortable, but Dimitri didn't show any emotional connection to this place. He hugged Tasha and they started yapping to each other. I had never seen Dimitri act so friendly with someone before. _

"_Hey Rose." Lissa said. Something was troubling her, but Tasha and Dimitri were distracting me, so I didn't delve deeper into her mind._

"_Yeah..Hi Lissa…Christian…" I said, lost in my own thoughts._

"_Rose…Earth To Rose!" Christian's sarcastic voice brought me back. I grinned back at them, pulled up a chair and glanced one more time over to Dimitri and Tasha. They were whispering, eyes locked. Jealousy rose inside of me, not helped by the darkness from Lissa. We were all chatting about nothing in particular. When me, Dimitri, Lissa and Christian walked back to dorm, Dimitri seemed cold and hostile. He didn't even say good bye. I passed out on my bed, only to be woken by Lissa and Christian creeping out the Chapel._

Did Tasha say something? Maybe I just had a grudge against her, because she likes Dimitri. I finished my laps. I was glad they were over, I felt so weak and tired. My legs were shaking. Dimitri stood on the other side of the gym.

"You're dismissed." I nodded, picked up my bag and walked off to the showers. I must have done something... There was a buzzing in the back of my mind, and I felt so cold. I was about to step into the shower when I caught sight of my body in the mirror; I had lost loads of weight. Usually weight loss was good, but I looked scary. On my back were purple and black bruises. I just assumed they were from class, but these bruises had been there for months. I stepped into the shower, and tried to clear my mind. I was fine. I hadn't had any sleep last night, or for the last couple of nights. I dried myself off and headed for breakfast. My stomach was rumbling. I needed a doughnut. I walked down the hall, my legs feeling like jelly. My headache was excruciating by now. I shivered; i was shaking with the cold...How could no-one else feel it? My head was searing in pain and-

"Hey Little Dhampir!" I turned around, my eyes rolled backwards and I blacked out...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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><p><em>APOV – Adrian's Point of view<em>

Rose turned around, her eyes rolled back into her head, and she collapsed into my arms. I shouted for help, but there was no-one on the quad.

"SOMEONE? PLEASE, ROSE IS ILL!" Tears rolled down my cheeks, as I sat there helplessly, with the most beautiful girl in the world, passed out in my arms. I had to get Rose to a doctor, there was something wrong, seriously wrong. I placed my sweaty hand on her forehead; she was burning up. I needed Dr Olendzki's help. I lifted Rose into my arms, and staggered towards the infirmary. Beads of sweat trickled down my forehead and my arms were strained. I had to keep moving.

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><p><em>OPOV –Doctor Olendzki's Point of view<em>

I was sitting in my comfy chair, sipping my coffee, when Adrian Ivaskov burst through the door. In his arms was Rose Hathaway, and she didn't look so good. Neither did Adrian, for that matter. He fell to the floor like a rag doll, putting his weight under Rose's.

"What happened?" I said, running over. He looked like he was about to pass out. "Adrian, are you still with us?"

"It's Rose… she fainted and she's got a fever…Do something…I'll be okay…I'm just tired…" Adrian said, crawling to where Rose was. He stroked the hair away from her face, and placed his hand on her forehead. I called my assistant nurses over, and we placed Rose on a bed. She was surprisingly light. I tried to stay calm, for Adrian's sake, but everyone in the room could see past my disguise; there was something seriously wrong. Her fever was burning and she was shivering. This wasn't good. We placed her on a drip, to give her fluids so she wouldn't dehydrate. After that she became reasonably stable, so I took Adrian into my office. We both took a seat.

"Mr Ivaskov-" I started,

"Adrian. It's Adrian. My Dad is Mr Ivaskov." He said, twiddling his thumbs, obviously distracted.

"Adrian, would you mind telling me what happened?" I said, offering him a coffee. His shaky hand reached out, and encircled the cup.

"I saw Rose on the quad, and walked up to her. When she turned round, she collapsed into my arms and started to shiver…" Adrian replied, " I couldn't do anything…I had never seen her so weak…"

"I am sure Miss Hathaway will be fine. We are going to run some tests, and we hope nothing will come up. If you would like, you may sit with her until she wakes up." Adrian stood up, and walked out of the door. Please Rose, be okay…even if it's just for Adrian...

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><p><em>APOV<em>

I sat with Rose, for almost 3 hours. She twisted and turned in her sleep, so I brushed the hair out of her face. She was effortlessly beautiful, even while she was asleep. Why could she never look at me the way she looks at Belikov? I see her aura light up around him, and deep inside I know that she will never feel the same way about me, even if my heart thinks differently. I placed my hand on her forehead, and her eyes fluttered open.

"Adrian?..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry, its take me a while to update, I have been busy with homework :(**

**Review :) 3**

**xx**

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><p>RPOV – Rose's Point Of View<p>

"Adrian..." My eyes opened to find deep emerald eyes boring into mine, swimming with concern.

"Rose…" He breathed, grasped my hand, and started stroking it with his thumb.

"Adrian, what happened? It…it's all hazy…" My voice was all croaky, and it didn't sound like mine. There was less hurt in my head, but I could still sense it there.

"You fainted, and I carried you here…you had a fever, and I didn't know what to do…" I placed my finger against his lips.

"It's okay… Do you have any idea what wrong with me?" I pleaded; Dhampirs don't just get sick, there has to be a real problem when something like this happens.

"Dr Olendzki ran some tests… we should get the results in a couple of days at the most." I smiled in relief that I was not awake for the needles. Ugh, I hate them. Adrian and I chatted for a while, avoiding the subject of what might become of me. Every now and again, I would catch Adrian looking at my aura, not at me. I could tell by the expression on his face. He was worried, but I tried not to show how scared I was inside.

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><p>OPOV<p>

Rose seemed stable, so I went to tell her the good news. I walked over to her, and her big worried eyes looked up at me.

"Well, Miss Hathaway, so far the results of the tests show nothing, but the rest will arrive in a few days. Staying in bed for two days won't do you any more good than guarding Christian. Don't worry, I will make sure you don't get any attacks until we can find out whats wrong." I smiled and guestured towards the door. Rose looked relieved, but I knew that we shouldn't hold our breath. The results should return soon, but I would rather Rose stay in the infirmary. This wouldn't work as she was already on half time on her field exprerience, and that would just lower her grade even more. I couldn't do that to her career. I said goodbye and returned to my office to enjoy and uneventful rest of the day. Hopefully.

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><p>APOV<p>

Rose only spoke when we arrived at the quad, where no-one could hear us.

"Adrian?" She blinked and looked up into my eyes. She was so frail and thin; you could see it in her face. She moved her eyes down again, to look at the floor.

"Whats up?" I placed my hand on her cheek and tilted her head up. Her skin was so soft, it was like silk to my fingers.

"Adrian, please, _please_ don't tell the others. I don't want to worry anyone…You know what Lissa will do. She will try and heal me, and she will hurt herself by doing trying…" She whispered desperately, hold my hand tightly

"But Rose-" I started,

"Keep quiet, just for now…please?" I closed my eyes, breathed in and dropped my hand from her cheek.

"Okay Rose, but when we find out whats wrong, you have to tell them." She exhaled in relief and we walked back to the dorm. We said goodbye, and I hugged her and left. Why could she never love me like she did Belikov?


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry its taken me so long to update; I have been swamped with h/w!**

**R&R**

** x**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 4<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>RPOV<strong>_

I went back to guarding Christian immediately. Field experience ends next week, so we have the rest of term to prepare for the trials. I was kind of hurt that no-one noticed I was gone, but I got over that. I already had half time because of my ghost problem, so I had to be really good. I had to get a good mark; this wasn't about me, it's about Lissa. I was just about to leave on Monday morning, when I noticed a note had been shoved under the door. I grasped the thin pieces of paper, and I carefully opened them.

_Miss Hathaway,_

_All practices have been cancelled for this term, as Guardian Belikov refuses to teach you, claiming you have uncalled for affection for him, and therefore it is getting in the way of these sessions. If you have any queries, please contact the front desk._

_Louise Jenkins, Office secretary._

I stared at the piece of paper, my face bright red in shame. All of the teachers knew. They all knew about my love for Dimitri. And of course, something will leak out and all the students will know too. But they won't know that once, Dimitri loved me back. They will think I'm weak, and that I fall for anyone. One solitary tear rolled down my face, and I wiped it away hastily. I had to get to Christian, I was already late.

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><p><em><strong>CPOV – Christian's Point of view<strong>_

Rose came running towards me, her hair flying behind her.

"Hey Sparky, sorry I'm late…I just got caught up in stuff and-" I cut her off,

"Hey man, it's cool; it's nice to know that you weren't leaving me to get ripped apart by the Strigoi." I smiled. My eyes widened as I took her in. I hadn't seen her for a while and she was really different. She was skinny, like really skinny. Skinnier than a Moroi. She had purple circles under her eyes, and bruises on her arms. Was she anorexic? "Let's get some food, I'm starving…"

"Don't you want some blood first?" Dammit. _We come first_. I needed to see her eating. This could really affect Lissa if she had anorexia. I sighed and walked towards the feeders. Feeding always made me uncomfortable, after what happened to Eddie in Spokane, no-one who had been there would be completely alright with feedings. We had Alice, who grinned and offered her neck. Before I sunk my teeth in, Rose turned away, and stared into the distance. She was affected by what happened to Eddie too. I sunk my teeth in, and pushed that memory out of my mind.

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><p><em><strong>RPOV<strong>_

At breakfast, Christian was watching me. It was really strange. I mean he kept staring at the food left on my plate. To be honest, I wasn't that hungry. Last night, after the food I had eaten in the clinic, I threw up in the toilet. I didn't feel like eating. Christian's face was grave when I pushed my food away, and I continued to chat to Lissa. Through the bond, I could feel her getting jealous that Christian was looking at me. That wasn't in her nature. I felt the darkness build up, so I pulled it away. I couldn't let her get depressed again, I just couldn't.

Just as we were walking to Christian's lesson, I asked if I could go to the toilet. I felt the bile rise in my throat and I knew I was going to throw up. Christian ran after me and waited outside the door. I prayed that he couldn't hear me.

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><p><em><strong>CPOV<strong>_

As I stood outside the toilet door, I could hear Rose throwing up. A sudden realisation came over me; Rose was bulimic. She didn't eat, and then after meals she would make herself throw up. I know Rose and I are not the best of friends, but I was worried. This would hit Lissa badly, and she might start cutting again. I could hear Rose crying as she threw up, and I couldn't even begin to understand how much pain she was in.

Rose walked out of the door like nothing was wrong. She smiled at me, and we walked off to class. Ahead of us I could see Lissa staring at us, waiting. I abruptly turned and pulled Rose along with me, avoiding Lissa. I had to talk to Rose.

"Christian? What the hell?" She exclaimed as I dragged her away, off to the chapel attic. It was the only place we would not be interrupted.

"Rose, I have to talk to you. In private." I didn't say any more than that. She was silent for the rest of the walk, like she was nervous. When we got up there, I walked to the window and placed a shaky hand on it.

"What the hell is this about Christian?" She folded her skinny, bruised arms, that used to be tanned, but now were pale.

"Look, Rose. I know. About your…" I searched for the right words, "Your condition. Your problem."

"What are you talking about?" Rose said, dropping her hands to her sides. Then I did something that I never would have thought of doing before. I hugged her. It wasn't romantic, it was reassurance, and it was friendly. I didn't want her to be alone.

"But Christian, you don't understand." Her voice was muffled against my shoulder. "It's not what you think-" Then Rose broke away abruptly. I recognised that look; she was in Lissa's head. I turned around to see Lissa's platinum blond hair fly behind her as she flounced out of the room.

"LISSA! Wait!" I shouted, making my way to the door.

"Don't bother. She's already gone, and trust me. She doesn't want to talk to us." A solitary tear rolled down Rose's face. " Let's just go, Christian. We have to get to class."

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><p><em><strong>OPOV<strong>_

The tests I have been waiting for returned that evening. I was terrified that there was something wrong with Rose, but deep down I knew that sooner or later I would have to open it.

I sat down in my chair, and slowly peeled the seal off. I took a deep breath and pulled out the stack of papers. The first piece of paper was the forms I had filled in. I shuffled that page to the back and began to read the results. My eyes widened and my heart sunk; not Rose. Please. Not Rose.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I AM SO SORRY!**_

**You all probably hate me...I haven't updated in, like, 2 MONTHS!**

**Its just been so hard getting on the computer, and then I get writers block, but this chapter is kind of long, so I hope it will make up for it :) **

**I re-wrote this chapter so many times, and to be honest, I'm still not that happy with it, but I couldn't keep you waiting any longer!**

**I have already started on the next chapter so that won't be too long to come (HOPEFULLY!)**

**I am saving up for a laptop, and if I get one, updating will be so much more easier :).**

**Thank you SO MUCH for reading this far, and I hope you don't get bored :) **

** xx**

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

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><p>OPOV<p>

"Rose, you have acute promyelocytic leukaemia." I choked out. I saw the hope shrink in her eyes, and she curled up and started to sob in Adrian's arms. Christian put his arm around her and whispered reassuring words to her. I wish there was a way I could have prevented this. Her Character was too strong, she had so much life, and I knew that over the next months, I would see that life fade away. I locked eyes with Adrian, and he nodded. I started to leave, to give them time alone, when I noticed tears rolling down Christian's and Adrian's faces.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered, and I placed a hand on Adrian's shoulder before I left. Once again, Rose's future was uncertain.

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><p><em>Earlier That Day…<em>

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><p>CPOV<p>

"Christian, I'm not anorexic or bulimic…we don't know what it is yet, Dr Olendzki's waiting for results." And relief flooded me, just for Lissa's sake. Don't get me wrong, I was still worried about Rose, but no news is good news, right? I hugged her again, for the second time that day.

"I'm scared, Christian…I don't know what to do…" She mumbled into my shoulder.

"Well, you should start by telling Lissa. She really needs to know something like th-" She pulled back, and cut me off, as usual.

"No. This will stress and upset her to much! You don't know what she's like!" She exclaimed, running her frail hand through her hair. I grasped her wrist, only gently, and locked eyes.

"I do know what she's like. She isn't a baby, Rose, and you shouldn't treat her like one." I released her wrist and walked back a few steps. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she sank to the floor. She gently lent her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

"I can't do it Christian. I can't put her through that." She whispered, "Just promise you won't tell her something is wrong until we know, okay?" I sat down next to her, and wrapped my arms around her. Again, I didn't mean it romantically, I was her friend, and she needed to know that I was there for her.

"Okay Rose. I promise." I mumbled. I hated lying to Lissa, we both did. But Rose knew her better than anyone, and I had to trust Rose on this one.

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><p>LPOV (Lissa's Point Of View)<p>

Hatred welled up inside of me, and I tried to repress these feelings. I couldn't get the image out of my head: Rose, my best friend, and Christian hugging, about to kiss. Damn this bond! If Rose hadn't of sensed me, then I would've known for sure. Christian and Rose were perfect for each other. They were both sarcastic, snarky and passionate, while I was boring, weak, and useless. How could I have not seen this coming?

"Lissa, are you okay? You seem kind of, agitated…?" Eddie asked, placing a warm, reassuring hand on my shoulder. I whipped round, and gave Eddie a look that I instantly regretted. Why was I so angry today?

"Yeah, I'm fine. Peachy." I choked out. Those feelings of hatred disappeared, immediately replaced by hurt, and pain. Why did they have to hurt me like this? A reluctant tear squeezed out, and I wiped it away. "I think…I think Christians cheating on me." Eddie's expression turned into shock, and he quickly put his guardian mask back on.

"With who? Who would want to hurt you like this?" He said. He was my guardian, and he wanted to protect me from everything, not just physical pain.

"Rose." And I burst into tears. Eddie comforted me the best he could have done, but he wasn't my best friend. It's ironic that the only one who could make you feel better is the one who hurt you.

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><p>A couple of hours later I was in Slavic Art, and Camille decided to sit next to me.<p>

"Hey Lisa-"She started,

"It's Lissa." I corrected. I couldn't believe I was actually friends with this bimbo. Ugh, what's wrong with me today, I'm being really emotional and mean?

"Yeah, Lissa, whatever…Why aren't you sitting with Christian?" She asked, twiddling her hair. This means she's trying to find out some more gossip. Oh, the perks of being an ex-best friend!

"Well, because you're sitting here." I really was not in the mood to talk.

"Well, I heard that Christian was cheating on you…" She smirked, and paused to let that sink in, "With Rose!"

My head whipped round and I replied, "Where did you hear that?" She flipped her hair behind her shoulder, and leant towards me.

"Uh, it's been going around for weeks! They are sleeping in the same room and everything, so I guess it would happen anyway. Don't you think they're perfect for each other?" She giggled. My head told me that she was provoking me, and she wanted to get me angry, but that voice was getting repressed by those dark feelings I had.

"Whatever. Christian would never cheat on me." She looked at me, shrugged and then completely ignored me for the rest of the lesson.

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><p>Eddie and I walked over to our dinner table where some freshman was talking to Rose and Christian. I had to get this set straight, they have been avoiding me all day, and I needed to talk to them. I stalked over there my head high, Christian looked up, and I could see the guilt swimming in his eyes. They both immediately stood up and ran out the door.<p>

"How immature!" I said to Eddie, louder than intended. Damn. "They should talk to me instead of storming off!" I sat down and banged my fist on the table.

"I know…I just can't believe Rose would do something like this…" Eddie sighed,

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><p>RPOV<p>

Christian and I were freaking out about Lissa; she wasn't speaking to us, and she probably thought Christian was cheating on her. It made me feel crap inside, and she had put a wall up in the bond. I was almost in tears when Suzie, some Dhampir freshman walked up to me.

"Dr Olendzki wants to see you immediately in her office." She stuttered. She was probably terrified of me. I had red eyes, and with the rumours going around about me, she probably thought I was going to beat her up.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to hurt you. You shouldn't believe all the rumours you hear, Suzie. I will be there in a minute." I smiled. Suzie relaxed and breathed out. I grabbed Christian's arm and dragged him out of there.

"Lissa was in there. She looked like she was about to explode!" Christian murmured. He was hurting; He was losing his girlfriend. I moved to hold his hand, but my conscience told me that doing so would make it worse.

"I'm sorry Christian. I really am, but I have to find Adrian." Christian looked up and his ice blue eyes swimmed with sadness.

"Hey Little Dhampir…" A voice whispered softly in my ear. I turned round and threw my arms around his neck. "Whoa, Rose, what's up?"

"I'm scared Adrian, Dr Olendzki has the results…" I whispered, choking up. I could feel his chest rising and falling against me, and it felt natural.

"I know, she called for me too. What is Christian doing here?" He murmered, stroking my hair.

"He knows. He guessed something was wrong with me, and he is worried." I waited for Adrian to get angry or something; everything I did was wrong nowadays. Instead, he pulled away and smiled weakly.

"Come on, Dr Olendzki's waiting for us…" My hand reached for Adrians, and his beautiful jade eyes stared at it then into my eyes. My fingers curled around his, and his squeezed back. I looked over to Christian, and his crystal blue eyes seemed to convey many messages.

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><p>CPOV<p>

"Rose, you have acute promyelocytic leukaemia."

Not Rose. Anyone but Rose.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, and please review, and tell me what you think and be honest!<strong>

** xx**


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